I'm thankful, 2010.

A first married, white Christmas. First married New Year.

What a sight- blankets of white on Christmas night. That is certainly a first for this Florida girl. It's also a first to spend this time away from my clan...but so grateful to spend it with my best friend with his.

Surprising feelings over these Holidays. Surgery myself, visits to three dear friends who spent Christmas in ICU and a broken heart for one of my very best friends who lost her dear daddy just after Thanksgiving have left me in a state of overwhelming compassion and brokenness. A first Holiday season to be spent with a new husband left me with feelings of gratitude and excitement for all that is to come.

So what to do with this clash of emotion? I was reminded gently by a loving God this morning that His hand is in all of it, and He is not surprised. I can safely grieve and rejoice simultaneously, handing it all back to the Giver from whom it came.

After that realization, in rushed thankfulness in reflection of all that He allowed me to experience in the year of 2010. So here goes...

A marriage and start of a home with the man of my dreams and best friend.

Visiting another beautiful country- with my new husband.

Getting to be with a dear friend in her darkest hour.

New relationships with neighbors.

A new friendship with a sister in Gainesville that I have so deeply needed.

A brand new nephew.

A benign diagnosis.

Before I look ahead to the excitement of 2011, I must be thankful for 2010.

And I forgot this one thing...

I haven't posted my biggest news of 2009 yet!

I have probably already told everyone I know, but just incase you haven't heard...I'm engaged!

I am going to marry the most incredible man I've ever met, Zach Dickson, that is, in April of 2010.

This picture was a fun shot from our photographer's iphone on our engagement shoot last weekend in ATL. We were so excited to get to meet Chase and Amy, our photographers.

Goodbye 2009

Ok, I know...I just started this blog thing and I'm already terrible at it. Here is my attempt to be a better blogger as we approach 2010. Let's just say it will be my New Year's Resolution!

It's that time again. Today is December 30, the day before the last day of 2009.

What does that mean to you? I'm trying to learn to be more reflective and take the time to process life.

A wise mentor of mine told me how every evening of December 31st, she and her husband would go out to a nice dinner together and talk about what the previous year had held for them. In that same conversation, they would begin to speak about what they hoped to see in the next year, how they hoped to know God in a new way.

She said they began to see a pattern. God did in fact allow them to know Himself in a knew way and grow them by incredible strides in that year- but not at all how they had envisioned this growth and knowledge would happen. She told me they began to see that the very things that had caused the most tears, pain, hurt, anger and frustration were the very things that brought them into their renewed understanding of life and their Heavenly Father. From this, they began to thank God for his faithfulness, even when their seemed to be no hope- because they knew what was happening. God doesn't invest that process into a person in vain. They knew he had a purpose and plan, no matter what the circumstance held.

The same couple that spoke this wisdom into my life are faced with yet another crisis. I mean they are facing it right now, just as a write this post. My mentor is in the ICU after being rushed through emergency surgery to repair damage from an earlier critical surgery this year that removed cancer from her stomach. She has made it through 3 nights now. I had no idea this family could face any more trauma, but the Lord had his own thoughts.

Even in this extremely critical, emotional event, this couple continues to teach me what full belief in our Lord looks like. As they say goodbye to a year that has and still is full of hard times, their hope in Him is what they are hanging on to, year after year.

As I am facing a year that will look different than my life has ever looked before (marriage, namely), my mine and Zach's lives exhibit the very same hope and rest in a God who is alive and real.

Please pray for the Ryalls.

learning from 3rd graders

I had another one of those moments yesterday. Being with my kids at school taught me something. Not that it hasn't before, but each time I'm caught off guard and a bit surprised by it. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised anymore...seeing as Jesus did tell us we should become like them if we wanted to enter His kingdom. 

I think I was so caught off guard at learning from my kids because I have been so caught up in just what a tough group they truly are. Getting through the day is quite a challenge, to say the least. I am realizing as I get to know my kids that getting through the day is also a challenge for them as well. Some of them fight against severe adhd, learning disabilities, autism, and not to mention what I call "family disabilities." And I expect them to meet my expectations, follow my rules all day long...and learn? Ha.

I began to see the idea of making it through the day, even just until lunch time,  was overwhelming to them. How is there even a hope of a smiley note home at the end of the day when the task of staying in their seat, raising their hand ,not sucker- punching the kid next to them, and paying attention - all for 6 hours straight -is so daunting?

So we are trying something new. A few of our guys needed some "motivation." But hey, who doesn't, right? We broke the day down into 15-30 minute sections where they are given a smiley if they have displayed the appropriate behaviors and the end of each segment. 

Their response has been intriguing. Who knew? Now, they know they can make it through 15 minutes.  The day is not so looming when they are sure they can make it just for this moment. Just when they think they can't make it anymore, here's the smiley, and a new block starts. 

In designing this routine for my kids, it hit me that this is all the Lord asks of me. This life of abiding in Christ doesn't seem so daunting when I remember He only asks this day of me. He told us not to worry about how we're going to do it tomorrow...but to just trust Him for His abiding today, this moment.  (Mt 6)

May I never stop learning from my kids.  I am the teacher...what a paradox. 

I'm so glad that life isn't that "one big thing."

What a failure I would be already if that were the case.

How grateful I am that God created me to be formed in a span of years, made up of seasons, made up of days, that are tied together by moments. Moments filled with joys, struggle, love, learning, hurt, anger, frustration, peace, laughter...all made by Him and through Him.

In those moments are life- and in those moments- tidbits that will pass by if never intentionally recognized, reflected upon and reveled in...